Technology isn’t evil to your kids. Invite it to be used purposefully!
Nov 23
When I was a student — in all grades, I very often wished that there would be some crazy snow or rain that would stop us from having to go to school for a few days. That never happened. Although I wished for it so badly, I knew that kind of disaster would never happen.
When COVID brought such a sudden lockdown last year, I was thinking kids must be so happy that they would not have to go to school for a few days. I just never imagined it would take months or over a year for them to go back to school.
I now wonder how kids would feel being back at school after COVID. Many kids must be happy to be back with their friends and study the same way they used to, but many others must feel uneasy having to adjust back to their normal school setting, where they have to fit in socially and academically — no matter how shy or antisocial they are and how uninterested they are in the subjects they are learning. It would be interesting to see the advantages and disadvantages of distance learning, and how the pandemic impacted kids long term.
My friend’s son, Kyle, is almost 15 years old now. He is a very smart kid but has not really felt comfortable socially around his schoolmates — especially the boys. During the pandemic, he actually enjoyed his life. He had no problem following his academic courses through Zoom and did not have the pressure to be friends with the kids at school. He never found common ground with schoolmates, so he was alone most days or only hung out with his twin sister’s few female friends. The boys did not care about him because he didn’t play basketball or soccer, or he didn’t like to play those shooting games that his male friends did. Those boys were never mean to him though, because they had all grown up together, starting school together in daycare. It was just that they never found the same interests over time and didn’t have anything in common to talk about. Having no friends was tough for him. He was always insecure and it made him feel left out.
What was surprising during the pandemic was that Kyle was emotionally and socially doing so much better. He found a horseback-riding game made by a Swedish company. He was born with an enormous love for horses. He knows everything about horses and loves to ride them. Finding that social game finally opened up his heart, and he made very close friends in the game who also have a love for horses. They are not physically around him, but it doesn’t matter to him. They are the people that want to talk about the same interests as Kyle’s.
In the summer of this year, Kyle’s family moved to another state and he started at high school this fall. My friend was again so worried about Kyle not being able to make new friends and fit in at school. That is true; he never found a friend who would come to him and say hi. He remains quiet and eats his lunch alone. However, he is not depressed. He is still nervous about being late for school or having to finish his homework on time. Having no friends at school doesn’t bother him though. Remember, he carried his friends in the horseback-riding game with him. Each day when he comes home, he meets his friends in the game and sometimes has Zoom calls with a couple of them. He talks about his life, makes jokes, and laughs with them. He has a circle of friends he trusts and loves to hang out with — just not at school or offline. My friend feels relieved that he has these friends. Kyle treats his school as an academic center where he just learns his school subjects. He is in three AP classes.
Who says kids have to learn everything at school? Our venerable kids are pressured to do well with everything in school — academically, socially, emotionally, and physically. Phew. Isn’t it too much pressure? Would you be able to handle such pressure as an adult? So much comparison and competition through grading, and if they don’t lead in at least one of these areas, they might get bullied. They learn very quickly who to dismiss when they don’t see dominance in a certain area. When there are only several subjects and a handful of sports they learn and do, how can they discover that maybe their shiest classmate is an expert of horses and knows more than anyone in their class about the breeds, anatomy, nature, and dynamics of horses?
We have been worried about technology evolving so fast and kids being exposed to the wrong content. Many parents forbid their children from accessing online content because of this fear. Is this a good idea? I don’t believe so. Technology is already with us and it is evolving at light speed. Yes, technology has introduced many problems but we also saw that technology was the only option for various situations to keep our lives going during the lockdown. It was the only tool that got us to continue doing our work, studying, and socializing with others. Now everyone has to be able to use technology. Not being about to use it will create even greater inequality in terms of knowledge, awareness, wealth, and social positioning. Gaining knowledge, finding friends, and working towards the same goals can all happen in the world of Metaverse, and other forms of technology. If you worry about technology ruining your kids’ lives, think about how you can guide them in the digital space and create a sound environment rather than force them out of that space. Technology can provide us with such powerful, portable, ubiquitous, and global options and the importance of it will continue to grow. We need to empower our kids to leverage it and make great use of it in a wise, purposeful way. Education shouldn’t focus on knowledge and skill transfer any longer. Inspire kids! Inspire them to find their true calling and motivate them to collaborate with others rather than compete against them to solve those new, complex challenges humanity faces. Happiness will naturally come to you when you do what you are passionate about.
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away”
- Pablo Picasso
